Bill Simmons is a columnist for ESPN, and is also a published author. Throughout his many columns, he has developed certain terms for things that he continuously brings up in future columns. For example, he has something called The Reggie Cleveland All-Stars, which includes celebrities (mostly athletes really) who have stereotypical black names, but don’t have any black roots in them, and usually are the complete opposite (Khalil Greene being one of my favorites).
Simmons, also, has something he’s coined as the Tyson Zone, which includes any person who, if a friend said, “Did you hear that (fill in celebrity’s name) just (fill in the insane behavior: urinated on a police officer, began breeding unicorns, etc.)?”, I would have no problem believing it was true. This applies to the title of this article. If someone were to tell you that Kanye (and Lady Ga-Ga for that matter) was actually an Un-dead being that had just been outed by the media for being a nightwalker, and therefore had to cancel his tour, he would be one of the few where you would have to hesitate, at least for a little bit, about the validity of the statement. And in that hesitation, in your head, you can actually picture Kanye sucking blood out of an innocent fan, and it not phasing at all as being true.
Lady Ga Ga...Obvious Vampire.
Maybe I’ve gone a little too far with this, maybe I’m just thinking a little too clearly. Either way, the Fame Kills Tour has recently been canceled, so no Kanye and Lady Ga-Ga for all of those other vampires and various demons out there hoping to catch a glimpse of their king and queen of the damned.
Shoot.
DWB.
