Two days til I head back to Ithaca, and there’s a glacier about to fall on the North East. My mom has been freaking out for the last two days.
While in Shop Rite today, filling up a cart on my parents’ dollar to feed me come starving student mode, a bewildered old lady shouted to no one in particular, “They’re all here getting food cause of the storm! If their cubpoards are empty at this point they’re screwed! That’s what I say!”
Being in the home town means killing time, and killing time means reading. Without further adu, some words on a book I was supposed to read two months ago:
Miss Lonely Hearts by Nathaniel West 
Miss Lonely Hearts, he’s my savior, he’s my devastated bravado. He’s my 1920’s struggling journalist turned advice columnist totally caught up with the tragic world.
In Miss Lonely Hearts the similarly dubbed protaganist copes with being an advice columnist during Prohibition. Woeful Miss Lonely Hearts thrives and dies by his traumatic lifeblood, both debauching and allowing to be debauched by the dire and sadistically libidinous women.
His escapades bring him round town: through the skirt of his boss’s wife, the pillowy crevasse of a cripple’s lady, a stop on a sailboat to ride waves with a cougar, and a shotgun to his face at the top of a flight of stairs.
Miss Lonely Hearts pursued, while appearing beguiled by, women that wanted attention. His actions seemed almost schizophrenic: hating himself bedridden for “work induced” adultery, while lending an innocuous ear to the husband of the wife he’s alleviating.
Ultimately, the cripple’s wife screamed rape upon an internal boost of moral reasoning by the puny Lonely Hearts. For once he takes a stand, shuts the gold digger down, and the cripple congratulates him with a shell.
The moral of the story? C.R.E.A.M. Wu Tang is right again on this one. Get out of the game man. Miss Lonely Hearts, your job is taking you through the mud, and a money grubbing whore that doesn’t know what she wants got you killed. Goddam tragedy.
On the story? I thought it was pretty cool. Big ups to ya Mr. West. I’ll give it a 3.7 out of 5.
And since it’s a complete mix up of lessons; Prohibition adultery and the omniprescent Wu here’s a slick remix:
Team Canada — For the C.R.E.A.M
