Yael Naim, Steve Jobs, and Cardiac Arrest team up

This just in!

What happens when you bring an iPod, pacemaker, treadmill, and old person together? Death. Science says it's due to interference in the pacemaker caused by the iPod. This one wasn't figured out since, apparently, nobody with a pacemaker has ever exercised and used an iPod.

What's really behind the scenes? In an effort to kill off non-apple users (the elderly), Steve Jobs put geriatric kryptonite (pacemaker jamming magic) into his products. It's so blatant. "New Soul" is their campaign song? Put that man behind bars.